Bruce and I had lived together for about 7 years before we got married, he stating repeatedly that no matter how much he loved me he never wanted to get married again. In the first few years we were together I tried to change his mind, but no amount of crying, cajoling, bargaining or threatening to leave would change his mind. So when he had a heart attack in July of 2003, I think it got him thinking about life and love and loss and then he couldn't make me his wife fast enough. He even came to my workplace with ring in hand, and out on the Hospital grounds where I and some of my coworkers were taking our morning break, got down on one knee and proposed.
We decided on a date, far enough away to prepare, barely, and got to work on the fine details. My then 16 year old Daughter Kayle was to be my maid of honor and Bruce's oldest son Casey the best man. I decided to do the flowers, my bouquet, my daughter's, the toss-away bouquet and the boutenniers and corsages for the rest of the family/wedding party as well as flowers and decorations for the church. My son Brandon played the trumpet for the processional and recessional and I asked my brother Scott to walk me down the aisle.
Neither Bruce and I belong to a church, so the next obstacle was to find someone to marry us. At the same time we didn't know where we would hold the ceremony. Living so close to Niagara Falls, we did have the option of a wedding chapel, and I did call a couple of them, finding that the ones we were interested in were rather expensive. Along with that there was the reception to think about and the food and the cake. We were already on a tight budget and checking out hotels and catering was rather disheartening. Bruce is the youngest of 5 and one of his older brothers, Billy, offered to do the food and cake as a wedding present. Billy is one of the best cooks I know, he and his wife Donna (who passed away from cancer about 5 years ago) always brought the most delicious deserts to all the family functions. So we sat down with him and devised a menu and finally felt like we were making some headway. We still didn't have a place for the wedding or the shower and as I gathered materials for the floral pieces and started collecting supplies for the favors and table decorations for the reception, I worried out loud to Bruce on several occasions about not finding a place. It was easy for him not to worry, all he had to do was show up!lol One of my friends from work offered her restaraunt for the reception, a cute country cafe type place which would have been difficult to use because of the layout, but I was beginning to think it was the only place we would be able to afford.
Then, one day out of the blue, Bruce came home and asked me how I would like to get married in a castle! One of his customers worked for Fort Niagara and offered the tiny chapel to us. They used to hold weddings there fairly regularly, the stipulation being that you had to be dressed in period costume and be willing to be on display for the tours. If we were to have our wedding after hours we didn't have to meet the costume criteria, so we said yes and set the time for 6 pm which was when the Fort grounds closed. Now we had a place to get married!!! But no one to marry us and I was still reluctant to commit to the little country cafe for the reception. It wasn't long before Bruce again came home from work one day and announced that his boss's brother Tom who lived in a very posh condiminum complex had offered us the use of the community room (for free!) so now we had a place for the reception. What a relief! And the decor, although a little dated was still very elegant and had everything we needed to serve food and beverage, dance and it had the most awesome view being located on the river. Now I could relax somewhat, but we still didn't have anyone to marry us. One of my supervisors at work is a minister and I crossed my fingers hoping she would be able to do the honors, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. She would be out of town that week. Again, Bruce came to the rescue. One of his friends is a judge in a neighboring town and a quick phonecall confirmed he was available and willing to marry us!
My daughter and I had discussed dresses for the wedding andI was having a hard time convincing her that she wasn't going to wear black. I knew of a place in one of the malls that everything in the store was $20, and I had seen some beautiful formal dresses in there, so that's where we started. We looked in the racks and we both picked out a beautiful deep purple/blue satin dress.....the size was perfect. She put it on and even she liked it, that in itself was a miracle. It needed to be hemmed up a bit, but I decided I could do it so we bought the dress. 1 down and 1 to go. We headed to another store in the mall,a small boutique with very exclusive and expensive dresses in the window. I hesitated because most of them looked to be made for much younger (and thinner) women. I really didn't think I'd find anything, but my daughter was already in there ooohing and ahhing and pulling out dresses left and right for me. I knew I didn't want a traditional wedding dress, but I did want something elegant and wedding-like. They had a small rack of wedding dresses in the back and as I thumbed through them looking for my size, the only dress on that rack that I even considered just happened to be the only one in my size. I pulled it out and the sales lady ushered me to the fitting room. It fit like a glove, other than needing the straps to be shortened, the dress fit me like it had been made for me. In one shopping trip both dresses had been found, I knew things were finally falling into place.
The rest of the time flew by, I was busy assembling flowers for bouquets, boutenniers and corsages. I made some arrangements for the altar in the chapel and I got some lovely ivory ribbon bows, the kind you see on the ends of the pews in the church. I added some of the same silk flowers to the center of those, got some ivory tapered candles and the church decorations were all set. I got some elegant silver swan candy holders on clearance and made up the favors and found some cute silver bells, so I made up a label sized tag and with some ribbon and some tiny silk rosebuds tied them onto the bells. On one side was a line from "our song" "I cross my heart and promise to give all I've got to make all your dreams come true, In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine", and finally the favors were done. We got some more ivory candles, and I decorated a single crystal candle stick with the ribbon and Ivory and deep red rose buds and those were placed on each of the tables. One evening we were out shopping for the candles, we were wandering around Michaels Craft Store and Bruce spotted one of those arches. I bought yards and yards of tulle, got a few strings of christmas lights and several ivory rose garlands and I had the most beautiful archway in the reception hall. Attached to the main room was an indoor pool, so we got some floating candles which flickered romantically in the pool, the light reflecting off the gently rippling water. One of the gals I worked with from the housekeeping department offered to help serve food and clean up, and I know Billy, after all that food preparation and the lovely cake was very grateful for the help. My friend Kathy, Bruce, I and our kids helped decorate and set everything up the night before. It was a LOT of work, but it went off without a hitch, and everyone had a great time. People stayed and helped clean up afterwards which was a tremendous help, we got home about 2 am and managed a few hours sleep before taking off for our honeymoon in Cape Cod, transportation provided by Bruce's boss and good friend Bob, who gave us the use of his little Beamer 2 seater convertable. We had a blast there, and hope to return again one day.
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